Highlighting Shelters Series: Reasons

Reasons for why I chose certain shelters and websites to highlight: relevance, easy escape pages, and explanations of how to guard your computer and hide activity. 

Why is it important for a Website to look relevant when it is dealing with abuse victims and survivors? Well, let’s think about this, if a website looks outdated then it looks like it’s not kept up. If a shelter does not take time to keep up their website how relevant will they be when I call them? How relevant will they be when I need to trust them? If a business wants to attract people then it has a relevant and up-to-date website, the same should be said for shelters. The websites I have chosen are easily accessible and care about the world around them and are relevant in an ever changing world. 

Easy access and easy escape is important because victims need an easy way out just in case. If their abuser comes in the room they need a quick way to leave a page. This is also why it is important to explain how to guard your computer and hide your activity. These pages obviously want their visitors to be victims and to be people that need their help. If their pages are not made for victims then what kind of work their shelter actually do?  

These are some websites and shelters that I haven’t chose because their websites are outdated and not regularly updated. I do not have any affiliation with these shelters or websites (those that I have chosen to highlight and those I have chose not to), I am simply exploring each site and letting you know what I find of value there. But you should of course visit these pages yourself and if the shelters are in your area you should take the time to visit them and to make informed decisions about them. 

A Little Vulnerability

When I started this Ministry, just over a year ago, I started it because I saw a need. Women who have been sexually abused need healing.

But if you are going to trust me, you need to know me, to understand me. To that end, I have done a guest post on a blog called Body Theology. It is run by a close friend who seeks to answer the questions about our Body and God.

She asked me five questions about singleness and in doing so I gave a little bit of myself away. I am completely transparent and open in this post. So give it a read and let me know what you think.

Five Questions on Dating/Singleness

Highlighting people and groups working in the field of Domestic and Sexual Violence

In the next few weeks, I’ll be highlighting some of the shelters that are available all across the country. Once you start looking for places to help people you can find many in your area. 

In the next few weeks I will be highlighting some of the shelters and people that are helping victims of Domestic and Sexual Abuse. I say some because it is difficult to develop an encompassing and exhaustive list, but if you live in some of the areas I will be highlighting, hopefully you will be able to find some help.

Ministers and counselors and teachers should pay specific attention so that you can begin your own list of what’s available in your area. 

Stay tuned for what’s available, given the social climate we are facing where people standby when someone is being abused the more we know about what’s out there to help people the better off we will be. 

Be sure to subscribe so that you won’t miss anything. I know I’ve been a little absent lately but I’m hoping that will change soon and I will at least be updating things weekly.

A Resource: Reaction to being told that your child has been abused

Parents of Abused Children Resource_Being told that your child has been abused

I have recently encountered some parents who were told that their child had been abused. They were unsure what to say or what to do. This resource will help parents get through the first few conversations with their child.

Feel free to use this source in any context but please give credit where credit is due.

Response to a recent article

Tammy ran across an article today on Christianity Today in the section called “Her-menutics.’ The title of the article was “Voice of the Victims: Sex Abuse Survivors and the Church.” The following are her reactions to the article.

I just finished reading this article, I was about to post in their comment section but decided that my thoughts were too lengthy for that context.

In the article the author, Michelle Van Loon discusses a recent suicide of a pastor. The pastor, Tom White, “committed suicide after allegations that he molested a 10 year old girl.” His guilt or innocence was not the focus of the article and is not the focus of this article either. The focus of the article was that the focus after his death has been on him instead of the 10 year old girl. The article suggested that instead of focusing on the crime or the abuser we, as a church, should spend our time focusing on the victims that are left behind.

The article did a good job at bringing up the need for help for victims. There was some focus on the trials that abuse victims and their family members face. I understand the succinct nature of the article, I myself could spend several pages going over the complexities that abuse survivors face and the many layers of healing that must be experienced.

Loon brought up the interesting point that, churches sometimes focus on the sins of abusers (although this is rare) but rarely speak of the victims themselves. The statistics change every year but 1 in 4 men will be sexually abused in their lifetime and 1 in 3 women will be sexually abused in their lifetime.

This is a wide pool of people that are not getting any help. By the time a person is ready to get the help that they need there is nothing available to help them.

I started this ministry for these people. I focus my ministry on women but I would welcome men to be a part of this ministry someday.

I’m sorry that this man took his life and even sadder that a child was abused but every year we hear more and more about children and adults being abused inside and outside the church. It is time that we implement ministries to help these people.

Praying in church, having survivors speak on a wide platform and providing counseling are just the beginning steps. We need to move beyond groups outside the church and start building a culture of healing within the church. We need to focus on how not only to prevent abuse but also to help those who are survivors. Survivors deal with many issues that run the gamut of relational issues, sexual issues, physical issues, and emotional issues. These issues must be dealt with on many levels and one of those levels is a healing level in a church culture.

We need to provide more places for these women and men to get the help that they need. We cannot turn our backs on them or point them in the direction of a counselor and hope for the best. We have to walk beside them and be willing to sit with them in the pain.

Support groups and therapy can be helpful but they are not enough. We must create a culture in the church that welcomes survivors and provides the much needed care and support and not just point to outside programs and groups.

Work In Pasadena, CA

Fractured Wholeness Ministries has worked with two churches in Pasadena, CA.

The first church to use our services was Oasis Pasadena Church. While at this church we developed a support group wherein we worked on forgiveness and self-hatred issues. We met every week for two hours for 10 weeks.

The second church to use our services was Hrock Church. While at this church we wrote curriculum and developed a healing group based on this curriculum. The group had 21 women in it with six leaders including Tammy. The group met for 8 weeks and focused on “Redefining Reality.” The structure of the group was that we met for two hours once a week. We would spend 45 minutes teaching and then spend the rest of the time in small groups praying and seeking healing through spiritual practices.